Despite our children being our most precious possessions, we frequently lose sight of the fact that they are individual beings with their own needs and wants. While we may have the best intentions, it is too easy to slip into a coercive or controlling mode while dealing with our children.
In order to be an effective parent, we must strike a balance between our want to see the children succeed and our desire to see them struggle and grow. A strong sense of self can only emerge if a child gets the right amount of basic needs, which can only be met in the right way.
Offer the following to your children
Give them affection
Touch is one of the most fundamental parts of a relationship, providing a sense of security and stability. Feeling loved and secure can have an instant effect on stress levels. This helps to trigger the release of hormones that make us feel closer to our loved ones.
No one is exempt from the torment that awaits all human beings, including our children. There is no good reason to burden them with our anxiety about their suffering. Help them understand that “nothing is permanent” by showing them love and support.
Even a small amount of affection might alleviate some of the discomfort. Let your children know how much you love and care for them, but don’t abuse or yell at them.
Spend time with your children
Your attention, affection, and time are all children’s most basic needs. No one can replace you in your life. Never allow your children’s care to be taken over by video games, iPads, babysitters, or anything else.
A working society means everyone has responsibilities, but children should be the priority. Spend as much time as you can each day with your children, taking into consideration their age and stage of development.
You might only need five to ten minutes of face time with a teen, but make sure they get that time. Knowing that you will be there for your children in times of need is essential.
Build their Faith
As parents, we might become so caught up in fear that we lose sight of our faith. Our children’s self-esteem is directly linked to our belief in them.
It’s fairly uncommon for parents to express their lack of faith in their children’s abilities by expressing their anxieties over anything they want to accomplish, experience, or explore.
We need to have faith in our kids and give them the rope they need to keep going, figure things out, and succeed.
Show them Kindness
Each child has a unique purpose in this world. Unlike their peers, siblings, or your friends’ kids, your kids are not here to be as good as or better than them. When you compare your kids to others, you are telling them they are inferior. As a result, they lose motivation and begin to doubt their self-worth.
You can only judge self by comparing yourself to yourself, and even then, there are times in your life that you wish you could forget about. You should only use comparisons to show how much your children have progressed since they were younger.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on being kind to yourself.
Opportunities to grow their Patience
As parents, we have an idea of what is best for our kids, and we sometimes put undue pressure on them to meet that ideal. In contrast to our parents, our kids rely on us for our patience and our strength of character.
They require our assistance in moving forward at their own pace, so we must provide them with a little rope.
The development of each child is unique. The more pressure and control you put on someone, the more they will crumble. Patience conveys our belief that they will find their path in time and practice.
They may lose motivation if we put too much pressure on them. Our goal is to develop happy, healthy children, not performers.
When our children perceive that we have confidence in them, they grow more self-assured. In the event that you display a lack of faith in their ability or character to make sensible decisions, you are no longer on the same side with them.
As parents, we must come to terms with the fact that our children are individuals with their own strengths and flaws. We must give them the freedom to be themselves and have faith in our ability to nurture them so that they can make errors, learn from them, and do better the next time.
If we react angrily when they make a mistake or bad decision, we are suffocating their will to learn and grow.
Give them Counsel
As parents, our job is to provide our children with constructive comments that will help shape their character. They can’t grow when you become passive-aggressive, shout, criticize, yell, or rebuke.
In either case, they will shrink or grow agitated, developing bad views about themselves, their talents, and your abilities towards them.
When you deny your children the opportunity to experience pain and fail, you deny them their right to pleasure. As parents, we have a responsibility to help our children see that an essential element of life is the quest to find purpose and meaning.
Show them Love
All kids deserve love. They are entitled to the same amount of care and attention. The more you give your children “things,” the more they will feel empty when they realize that their “things” and “pleasures” aren’t what they deserve.
Love is the one thing you can never give your children too much of. The sensation of unconditional acceptance we give our children is the essence of love. This is because it is straightforward, non-material, and uncomplicated.
We care about our children since that’s what they deserve, and that’s what we should give them.
You are responsible for teaching your children the difference between good and wrong. But you do not have the authority to determine what kind of person they should be. Parenting is about guiding your children toward their interests, not directing them away from them.
Instead of making decisions for them, you must enable them to discover their decision-making methods. You are manipulating if you express your displeasure or disapproval of their decisions since they are not the ones you would have made.
If you want to be an excellent leader, you need to live a life that you truly enjoy so that you do not have to live your life and all of your unfulfilled goals through your kids. Because you are missing something in your life, it is not your obligation to compensate for it.
If you don’t show your children respect, they’ll learn to do the same to you. Kids will follow your example, not only what you tell them to do. Because you’re an adult, they won’t treat you with the utmost respect. They will only appreciate an adult who respects them in return.
They will disobey you and mock you if you make fun of them. In order to gain their respect, you must first demonstrate your self-respect. Remember to treat them with respect; when they see you respect them, they’ll respect themselves and you, too.
Emotionally immature parents instill in their children the behaviors of yelling, belittling, and ignoring them.
Tips to consider
- Be the role model
- Simple things matter to your child, for example “a pat on the back”
- Do what you can each day; do not get overwhelmed.
- Your presence is more important than any physical gift
Time, attention, and love for kids are essential. Nobody can take your place. Your children should never be left in the care of strangers like babysitters, iPads, and video games. Everyone in the working world has duties, but when it comes to family, children always come first. Make every effort to spend time with them every day to build an everlasting bond.